The Real Failure: Never Trying at All
If there’s one thing—if not the thing—that has kept me from accomplishing my goal (i.e., starting this blog), it’s my overwhelming fear of failure, co-starring the ever-present anxieties of I’m not good enough and Who am I to think I have something worth saying?
I’m sure there are people out there—maybe even you reading this—who think I have no business writing a blog. But after years of flaking out on myself, I say this kindly: I don’t really care.
Because that’s the crux of the fear of failure, isn’t it? We measure failure based on how others receive our art, business ideas, athletic skills—whatever it is we dare to pursue. If we existed in a universe of one, we’d create freely, God-it-up, and declare everything we made perfect—even if it was just a mound of sand we decided was a breathtaking dune replica.
The truth is, what we fear isn’t failure itself—it’s judgment. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of not meeting expectations. The fear of looking ridiculous for having the audacity to try.
There’s even a name for it: atychiphobia. And annoyingly, you’ll probably fail to pronounce it right the first time—just like me.
The only way I’ve learned to manage the impulse to flee in the face of failure is by cultivating a solid case of the fuck-its. When motivation is nowhere to be found, I picture myself at 90, looking back on my life. That version of me? They have zero tolerance for bullshit fears. They’d say: Who cares? Just do it.
I love talking to older people (65+) about my dreams. Their response? Do it. No hesitation. No overthinking. And while I ramble on about why it’s too hard, too complicated, or too risky, they just shrug. Do it.
Because in the end, the real danger isn’t failing—it’s never trying at all. Never rising to your potential. Never giving yourself the chance to succeed—or, better yet, to learn through the stumble.
So, to kick off this year, I’m saying eff it to fear. I’ll try, I’ll stumble, maybe even fall—but I’ll get back up. And so will you.
A Few Tools That Have Helped Me Fight the Fear (And Might Help You Too):
1. Daily Journaling & Monthly Goal Setting
This one’s a game changer. Even if I only accomplish 10% of my goals, it’s still something. We plan for our jobs with quarterly and annual reviews—why not our personal lives? The experiences that actually matter? Seeing friends, traveling, starting a dream business, adopting a pet. We forget to plan our lives, and then we never really live them.
Start with monthly goal setting. Get a journal. Write one sentence a day. Stick with it. Even just acknowledging your goals puts you in motion.
2. Ruthlessly Curating Your Social Media Feed
This one’s huge. Unfollow, mute, block—whatever it takes. If someone’s posts make you feel bad, sad, or inadequate, cut them out. You don’t need to compare yourself to Kim K. Follow accounts that actually inspire you instead. And if social media is draining you? Be the person who deletes it for a month, or a year. Live outside the metaverse.
3. Limiting (or Cutting) Alcohol
Not kidding. The times I’ve barely drunk—or not at all—have been the most productive of my life. One hangover can derail my entire week. Cutting back gave me clarity, energy, and time to actually do the things I say I want to do.
4. Financial Literacy & Debt-Free Living
Having savings and a financial cushion gives you the power to take calculated risks. That side hustle? That trip? That class you’ve always wanted to take? They become possible when you’re not drowning in debt.
5. Scheduling Your Time
Discipline isn’t sexy, but it’s everything. Block out time—not just for work, but for fun, for goals, for life. Once you crack this, you become unstoppable.
When you put all of these pieces together, things stop feeling impossible. Fear takes a backseat. And failure? It stops being a threat and becomes what it was always meant to be—a guidepost that proves you’re actually trying.
Now, go do something.